Has anyone ever told you s/he needed some space? All too often men and women are threatened by their partners needing or wanting spacean opportunity to enjoy solitude. They somehow feel that if their partners really loved them they wouldnt want to be apart from them. Or they take it personally and project that they have done or said something that has offended their partner and s/he now wants to get away. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you get lonely or feel rejected when your Honey wants to take some personal time, examine your fears and your attitudes. Have you built walls of defense instead of bridges in the hope of protecting your fear that there might be something wrong with you? Are you afraid of being close with others, getting hurt, failing, or perhaps experiencing the pain of losing someone you love? Are you filling your life by being busy, seeking out and spending time with people you may not particularly like? Are you filling up the spaces of your life with lots of noise from the radio, TV, DVDs or surfing the net endlessly? If you feel the pain of loneliness or the fear of your partner needing to create a time for solitude, please consider reading this terrific book, There Must Be More Than This: Finding More Life, Love, and Meaning by Overcoming Soft Addictions written by Judith Wright. While this book doesnt address the notions of solitude, aloneness or loneliness in so many words, Ms. Wright explores the whole idea of soft addictions, which I refer to as being busy and making noise. These only serve to distract us from listening to our inner knowing and deepening our inner awareness. Creating opportunities for solitude and becoming comfortable in your own company are skills you can learn and which will be hugely beneficial throughout your life. Get to work. Youre worth it! Remember, only YOU can make it happen! Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005 If you like this article, please read more about Dr. Jackies relationship dating advice and help for issues and problems. This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name, web site, email address and telephone number. |
