In long term love relationships, I believe the bottom line has to do with the heart: what is in yours and how well you take care of someone else's heart.

This is because in long term love relationships, you are given the heart of another person to hold in your hands. Hearts are fragile, and need to be handled gently.

How to be rough with a heart

=> Fight for your right to be right.

=> Believe that if you think something is true, then it should be said no matter what, and it does not matter how you say it since it is true.

=> Believe that since you have always known how to talk, you therefore know how to communicate.

=> Barrel through your relationship with no awareness of what you leave in your wake.

How to be gentle with a heart

=> When communicating, listen for the heart of what is being said, and not just the content.

=> When you have something difficult to say, say it gently.

=> Pay attention to the effect you have on those around you.

=> Use your database - when you have been with someone for awhile, you know what not to say as well as what to say.

It's like a client of mine once said - "Love is knowing what buttons not to push, and then not pushing them."

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com