Painful problems occur in every family. In fact, pain is a challenge for everyone. The Family Meeting is an excellent tool for discussing difficult situations.

Many of our children face the one thing that pains them most, divorce. In my 22 years as a child/family counselor, I rarely found a child happy about his/her parents divorce. Instead they looked for ways to get their parents to pull together. They thought if they became the focus of their parents attention, their parents might stay together. Some kids exploded with anger. Some moped with depression. Others dropped out. Their tactics didnt work.

Family Meetings can help parents either separately or together help their children cope. Below are 5 painful problems that most children of divorce never want to face.

5 Painful Problems:

1. Learning that their parents are divorcing.

2. Moving to a different neighborhood and school.

3. Window watching for the visiting parent who doesn't come.

4. Meeting their parents new lover.

5. Meeting the kids in the other family.

Divorce creates a hole in the hearts of our kids. Rather than let that hole broaden and deepen, Family Meetings can help our children voice their feelings.

At Family Meetings parents find out their children's shocking thoughts and feelings,like:

The divorce is my fault.

If I had been a better kid, mom and dad wouldnt be divorcing.

If I hadnt said the wrong things, maybe mom and dad would still be together.

Finding out how our kids think and feel is the first step to helping them. Listening and letting them voice their pain can release some of the stress they are carrying. The Family Meeting is a good place to share their pain.

Whether youre a single parent, a stepparent, an adoptive family, a foster parent, or a two parent family, the Family Meeting offers a powerful approach to easing pain and helping our children cope. Thats why I wrote Character Building with the Family Meeting Diary. Why not use it to discuss the painful problems in your family? Youll be glad you did.

Jean Tracy

Jean Tracy, MSS "Granny Jean" helps parents, teachers and counselors, raise awesome kids with solid characters. She graduated from Seattle University with a degree in education. She taught elementary school in Washington, California, and Connecticut.

Inspired by her desire to help the problem children in her classes, Jean returned to graduate school. She earned a Masters Degree in Social Work from Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania. Upon returning to her home in Washington State, she worked as a probation officer and then developed a private counseling practice with families and children that spanned 22 years. During this time she earned a Diplomate in Clinical Social Work.

When asked how she developed her parenting books and products, she tells a unique story. "When I was an intern counselor in an old elementary school in Pennsylvania, I shared my office with the janitor under the stairwell. When the bell rang, the children's pounding footsteps drowned out every counseling session I ever had. The office itself had buckets, mops, and assorted cans lining the walls. The light bulb overhead swung back and forth casting creepy shadows everywhere. My counseling tools were broken down toys in a huge vinyl bag. Those toys never seemed a good way to counsel kids.

When I started my counseling practice, I looked for better skills to understand the kids I counseled. Over the years I developed fun ways to communicate with kids, to help parents help their own kids, and build character too. My unique parenting books and products are the result."

Jean Tracy, "Granny Jean" is a wife, mother, and grandmother. She is also an award-winning Distinguished Toastmaster and professional speaker. Her presentations, include:

1. Build Character Now! Practical Tools for Busy Parents 2. Discipline Styles, 3 to Lose and 1 to Choose 3. Family Meetings: This Special Formula Builds Character 4. Teach Your Child Success! 1 Simple Formula, 3 Easy Steps

Granny Jean's presentations are full of stories and interactive activities that will help you as parents, teachers, and counselors build solid character in your awesome children.