It would be true to say that these days more than 50% of all couples who eventually marry, are already living together. In that state of marriage without licence they may go ahead and buy a house together, set up the house with all those bits and pieces that transform a house into a home, and might even acquire a child or two.

Then comes the decision to make the union a legal one, and the planning of the wedding day itself.

Since a wedding is usually synonymous with gifts, the couple find themselves in that unpalatable situation of how to tell the guests that yes, they would love a gift, but none of those run of the mill things that guests inevitably bring.

Of course there is the Bridal Registry which most gusts have now learned to accept as part of the process. After all, knowing the couples preferences does save them running around the shops trying to choose something both useful and decorative and that the couple actually needs.

But unfortunately, this particular couple have gone way past the Registry stage. They have everything that money can buy, and what theyd really now like is the money itself. Perhaps it's the mortgage payments that is the problem, or it could be that the roof has lost a shingle or two. But, in any case, wedding gifts just wont do.

Enter the Wishing Well and the Treasure Chest.

After much pondering and soul-searching, the couple decide to take their friends into the confidence and ask for money in the most sensitive way possible.

At the reception itself, in a very central position, they place a wishing well, or a treasure chest which can be either made, rented or bought. Guests are invited to toss their cheques, or money order, or just plain old cash, into either the Wishing Well or the Treasure Chest and make a wish for themselves, instead of the couple. Its a fair swap. The couple get what they want, and the guests get their wish. Well, thats the plan, anyway.

Now how do you convey this innovative idea to your guests? Included with your wedding invitation will be a card explaining the whole process. The card is made interesting by being worded with a lilting rhyme and rhythm as to why the couple would prefer the dollar to the tea towel. To give it visual aspect the card is decorated with a picture of the wishing well or the treasure chest to give the couple an idea of what to expect on the wedding day. It's hoped that the light-hearted ditty on the card, and the novelty of the whole idea, will not only result with the right gift, but also retain the friendship of the giver.

Vlady Peters

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant performing weddings, naming, renenewal of vows and commitment ceremonies both for Australian citizens and for overseas couples visiting friends and relatives in Australia.

She is the author of two traditionally published books, "The Complete Book of Australian Weddings" and "The Small Organisation Handbbook" and is in the process of releasing two ebooks dealing with weddings and honeymoons.

Her major interest is research into customs and traditions of weddings.

By going back to the roots of customs, she believes couples can more clearly differentiate between what is essential in a wedding ceremony, and what is merely a personal preference.

This allows them to choose a ceremony reflecting their own situation within the framework of legal requirements.

Vlady has a bachelor of Arts in English Literature and Government, and has studied the writing of novels and romances. She has written children picture books as well as novels.

She is a member of Queesland Civil Marriage Celebrants - the largest Civil Marriage Celebrants Association in Australia - as well as member of Celebrants' Training Association.

She is also a member of Australian Authors, as well as Romance Writers Association where for a number of years she was the Convenor of the prestigious Emma Darcy Award - Australia's leading Lady of Romance.